I'm just looking to be uplifted and encouraged about this...?

I used to be the kind of girl who would no guy bring her down.. i thought relationships were stupid.. then i went and fell in love with a guy. we dated for a year and a half. HE broke up with me... but i drove him to do that... by accident. i never meant to make him want to leave. i know... we will never get back together cause he's not in love with me anymore nor does he like me... BUT now i feel i can and may never be able to fall in love again... ... i feel like i'm going to be TOO cold to let any guy in ... ... i have faith SOMETIMES that the right guy will come when i am ready and when he is.... but sometimes i feel like i won't be able to love him because of how hurt i am and how i now think romance and love is **** and fake... see?? it's all effing contradictive. i could use your help. advice. critizism. anything..